the power to power through

where does it come from? where does it go?


picture a great, big flight of stairs that you must go up in order to get to where you're going (shout out to them Jesus steps at central).  it looks intimidating. you're a few steps in saying "it's not so bad". almost halfway up. ya breathin' ain't keepin' up with how fast ya body's tryna go. you look around for any other way, but you already almost at the top! after a couple deep breaths & a slight "we gotta move our ass" pep talk, you finish strong at the top.

that little moment of push forth - where does that come from?

that little voice of encouragement - who the hell is that?

i don't think i have the answer to that for everybody, but for me, myself, & i, it seems to be a combination of a few things:

- reality

- wishful thinking  

- divinity  

when life happens, that's just it - it's life happening. no way to avoid or rewind, just gotta deal & move on, right? right! forward movement has always been my pep talk, whether to myself or others. that's the way in which we go from here - here being this awkward, wtf do i do now stage of things. i'm kind of uncomfortable with the "don't cry over spilled milk" speech because sometimes you do need to cry it out & that's perfectly okay. that's also a part of the reality that is life. it's what we do with & after this that matters most. life happens to all of us whether we want it to or not & while sulking or pouting may bring temporary comfort or be necessary for a moment, day, or month, we've got to press forward to find, or see, a solution. 

when shit goes left, i like to jump into "it'll get better" mode as soon as possible. while this may not be the best way, some may say it's a form of distraction, it works for me. it helps me to calm myself down quicker than if i didn't give myself a "woo woo woo, this'll pass just like the last time" moment. i'm a sucker for finding a silver lining in the shittiest of things, & while i do lit'rally cry at everything, it's not for forever. the same goes for whatever mess is in front of me - it's not for forever. so i start thinking of what i want things to be like or how i'd love for them to turn out. i.e. wishful thinking. if i could wish myself outta here, what would i wish for?

here comes the point: it's great to see what's actually happening in front of you. it's also great to be solution based & even wish a way out to better view your situation. but the ultimate part of it all is that none of this is even up to us.


we can plan. we can try to fix everything or nothing. we can cover up, potentially making it worse. but it's ultimately not our call. it never has been & i'm pretty sure it never will be. there's a higher purpose, a divine plan in all of this & it's imperative to keep that in the forefront whenever any tough flights of stairs take the life outta you just before you reach the top. 

take your moments as needed, but move forward.   

stay optimistic & remember, 

it's not for forever.