ever done improv?
if your answer is "yes", how was it?
if you're answer is "no", you're a liar.
now, before you go getting defensive, hear me out.
i'd held a job consistently since 2012. sometimes, most times actually, i worked a full time alongside a part time, balancing the two. fast forward to the end of 2015 - i moved on to a new role. fast forward to 3 months later - i was mutually relieved of said role. i'd had my faithful part time to hold me zown so i was good during the time in between. fast forward to may 2016 - i'd had the brainchild of this business and that started to blossom just before getting a call about my dream job, basically, in june 2016.
everything was great. i loved my job. my coworkers. even then commute, though crowded and sometimes rowdy, i loved it all. this great ass time came to a screeching halt around april 2017. nothing i'd done, just the way things worked out. though hurt af, life and i kept on moving. i landed another role soon after, but that ended fall of 2017. fast forward to 2018:
since losing that last full time opportunity, i've heard a particular question much differently. a question that, before now, was a lot easier to answer - what are you doing/where are you working now?
that's a pretty simple and ordinary question, typically brought up in talks with new acquaintances or while catching up with old relatives and friends. it seemed like every time i was asked this, i would get weird about it and have more than one answer plus an awkward explanation as to why i didn't have a job. bringing up what happened and why i wasn't working.
until it hit me - i was working. i AM working. THIS is my role.
about mid-february 2018, i had a true light bulb moment after speaking with a fellow entrepreneur friend. she asked a similar question after we shared small talk about our business babies: "is this what you do full time?"
it took me a smooth 7 seconds to actually finish my "uhmmmm" and then proceed to answer with a "yes. yes it is!"
i accepted that, even though it didn't look ideal on paper or to others around me, i was working.
i can recall during those lapses in my employment history feeling a bit of a battle between "i need a damn job" and "i need this damn me time!" i was so used to doing what's expected and going through what should happen as an adult - get a job, keep a job, work to survive because money - i wasn't really listening to those lovely cues of life.
with my first real job, i thought i'd be there for a while; i'd worked my way up in 3 years, had multiple talks about making my way up to corporate, but then that wasn't an option anymore. then with the contract job, there were hopes to become permanent within another department eventually, but then that wasn't an option anymore either.
what was and always is the option is forward movement or "the show must go on!" re*clap*gard*clap*less*clap* losing full time employment and the fair amount of stability that it brings is tough. ya girl is still our here terrified but i'm living and loving my life however i think may come and lit'rally figuring it out as i go along, having faith in each and everyday.
i say ALL of this to say that we all at one point or another, and probably more frequently than we realize, are mastering the art of improv. life in and of itself improvised. similar historical events have happened, sure. we may carry similar traits and say the same things that our parents did when they were our age, fine. but none of us have been here, where we are right now, before.
life is going to happen and it's our job to live it regardless of how it may look, seem, sound, or feel. we're all just figuring it out, one day at a time.
there's no one way that things have to go in order to work out. this isn't me telling you to go start a business (if that's not your thing) or to stop applying for jobs (if you find yourself in between gigs). what i am telling you is that life is spontaneous, nerve-wrecking, intuitive, fun and beautifully, comically freeing, just like a round of improv. the reality it all? none of us really know what we're doing. the truth of the matter? that's perfectly fine!
keep figuring it out, keep loving on yourself, keep meeting you wherever you are without judgement, keep moving forward, and keep on living.